Susan DiGirolamo Attorney at Law

Is It Possible to Divorce with Respect?

2026-01-14T08:49:11Z

Divorce touches everything we care about; our children, our homes, our financial security. Because of this, it is normal for emotions to run high when working through the divorce process. At times such as these, it is critical to both respect our own needs, and to treat others involved with respect. These ideas are at the core of the Divorce with Respect concept.

When emotions seem out of control it can be challenging to understand new and complex concepts that may be involved in the situation. This is one reason it is important to rely on experienced professionals to guide you through the process. Many people find it helpful to consult with a financial professional, a mental health professional and others, in addition to an attorney.

If you choose professionals who are specially trained in non-litigation methods of conflict resolution, they can help you to understand and practice actions aimed at intentionally diffusing tension and anxiety and keeping the focus on reaching a reasonable settlement. Some things you and your spouse can do to help:

Avoid assuming the worst about the other party, and consider his/her needs and interests
Avoid speaking out of anger, and refrain from speaking negatively about the other person in public, on social media and in front of your children.
Stay focused on your goals and your priorities for the process, and know what your goals are when entering negotiations.
Focus on seeking terms that allow for the most fair and reasonable outcome to your divorce. This does not necessarily mean a 50-50 split on everything.
Find things to be thankful for and that you can look forward to while practicing empathy toward the other party.

These steps can help you achieve an outcome that is reasonable and sustainable long- term. With the right help, and the right motivations and goals, Divorce with Respect is possible.

Helpful insight for navigating a collaborative divorce

2022-11-22T16:37:51Z

Divorce can be a complex and emotionally challenging transition. Even when people resolve to work amicably together, there may be challenges in navigating the process of ending a marriage. This is one reason why Pennsylvania couples often choose the Collaborative Process for their divorce. In the Collaborative Divorce Process, you and your spouse work together, along with your professional team, to reach a mutually beneficial settlement. Collaborative Divorce is designed to give you more control over your final divorce settlement than you would have in traditional processes such as litigation. Your professional team will provide all of the support you need to gather information and understand your options for moving forward. Before you begin the Collaborative Divorce Process, it may be helpful to learn more about what you can expect and how you can seek the best possible outcome for yourself and your family.

Tips for successful collaboration

Collaboration is a non-adversarial approach to divorce. It involves spouses working together, with the support of the professional team, to reach an agreement on all divorce-related matters, including co-parenting, income sharing, and property distribution. If you choose this option, the following considerations may help you as you navigate the process:

In the Collaborative Process, you will work with professionals who will help you to gather the information you need, consider options, and make reasoned and sustainable agreements. Participating professionals may include a neutral financial professional, a licensed mental health professional, a child specialist, and real estate professionals.
Collaboration offers you the chance to craft a settlement that is best suited to your family’s unique situation, which may include such things as a non-traditional work schedule, your children’s special needs, extended family obligations, and many others.
The nature of collaboration can help you to develop a communication strategy with the other spouse that may allow you to develop useful co-parenting skills during and after the divorce.
The Collaborative professional team will help you to effectively communicate your interests and goals for the future, and help you and your spouse to find solutions that are both practical and sustainable.

The Collaborative Process allows you to focus on the future, and allows you to make decisions that will make the most sense long-term for you and your family.

Collaborative divorce could be better for the kids

2022-10-24T18:43:16Z

You understand that your divorce will impact your kids, and one of your primary goals during this process may be to provide them with stability and security. One practical way to do this is through a shared co-parenting plan — a custody arrangement in which the two parents will work together to raise their kids and provide as much continuity of lifestyle as possible after a divorce. Co-parenting can be challenging for two divorced parents, but approaching your divorce with respect and transparency can lay the foundation for success in these efforts. The Collaborative Divorce Process will allow you to avoid litigation and the stress associated with a complex legal battle. By choosing the Collaborative Divorce Process, you may also be able to reach terms in a co-parenting plan that make the most sense for your family. Evidence suggests that collaboration leads to better post-divorce parenting.

What is a collaborative divorce?

The Collaborative Divorce Process involves two spouses working together with highly trained professionals, to negotiate settlement terms that are crafted specifically for their situation. For families that include children, the Collaborative Process provides professional support that considers emotional and financial aspects of all decisions that affect the children. Collaborative divorce will keep you, your financial information, and your kids, out of court, leading to less stress and turmoil for the entire family. A co-parenting plan created during a Collaborative divorce will also encourage more cooperation between parents, providing stability for the kids and a chance to create a plan that is meaningful for you and applicable to your unique family circumstances.

Facing an uncertain future

Your children’s relationships with you, your spouse, and extended family may be affected by your divorce. While there may be things you cannot control, the Collaborative Process gives you the professional support you need to create a strong future for you and your kids. The Collaborative Divorce Process is designed to help you create a sustainable co-parenting plan that will benefit your kids for the rest of their lives.

What it Takes to Successfully Mediate Your Divorce

2022-09-30T14:58:57Z

The divorce process can be complicated and overwhelming, and you may wonder if there are options that would allow you to minimize the stress of ending your marriage. Avoiding litigation can save time and money, and provide more control over the terms of your final divorce settlement. Mediation is a dispute resolution method often used to help settle divorces. It allows both parties the opportunity to have their voices heard while working together to reach resolutions on matters such as child custody, living arrangements, distribution of marital assets and liabilities, and support.

Commitments needed for mediation to be effective

Mediation is appropriate and effective when both parties are willing to commit to the process. Effective mediation requires both parties to commit to transparency with respect to financial information, openness about their goals and interests, and flexibility in considering options for settlement that meet the needs of everyone involved. Before you make any important decisions, you should consider the process options available to you, and consider what best fits the needs of both you and your spouse.

Your best future

Choosing mediation could be the most effective way for you to seek divorce terms that are most suitable for your individual situation. If you have questions about how mediation could work for your divorce, you may benefit from speaking to a professional about the alternatives to litigation and how they may be able to save you time, money and stress.

Why should you consider a prenuptial agreement?

2022-08-22T16:41:58Z

If you have assets, children, student loans, have a family business or financial obligations to others, and are planning to marry, you may benefit from learning more about what a prenuptial agreement can do to protect you, your family, and your future spouse. As you prepare to marry, you are likely not focused on what may happen if your marriage ends, whether by divorce or death. While you may have a Will that specifies what happens to your property upon your death, you may want to define both the benefits to your spouse and limitations on the obligations of your spouse should you pass away unexpectedly. Through a prenuptial agreement, it is also possible to protect both you and your future spouse by outlining plans that will make a divorce simpler and easier. Taking this step is not assuming the marriage will end in divorce; it is simply protecting your long-term interests. The intent of a prenuptial agreement is to outline what will happen to your property in case of a divorce or the death of one or both parties. It is designed to minimize conflict and provides other benefits for each spouse, allowing them to enter their marriage with confidence. These agreements are beneficial for virtually any Pennsylvania couple preparing to walk down the aisle.

The benefits of this type of agreement

Some of the most common reasons why average couples choose this type of agreement before they marry include:

Allows you to carefully document and identify separate property
Removes the need for the court to rule regarding property distribution
Documents any special arrangements between spouses
Reduces the conflict in a divorce, lowering the chance that litigation is necessary
Can establish financial procedures and responsibilities of each spouse during marriage

One of the primary benefits of a prenuptial agreement is that it can provide you with peace of mind regarding your future interests. The process of creating a prenuptial agreement can facilitate important conversations about finances that may reduce the chance of conflict and disputes during your marriage.

Not just for the rich and famous

Prenuptial agreements are not just for those who have large amounts of wealth, extensive estates or valuable property they want to protect before they marry. If you are about to be married, seeking advice about how a prenup may be a prudent addition to your premarital preparations. An assessment of your finances and other factors by an attorney experienced in drafting prenuptial agreements may give you an understanding regarding the ways a prenup can benefit and protect you and your family.

The calculation of your settlement in a Collaborative Divorce

2022-07-25T17:22:09Z

The Collaborative divorce process uses interest-based negotiation. This means that you and your spouse will be asked to think about what is most important to you both during the divorce process and in the future. Collaborative professionals focus on your hopes and dreams for the future, as well as any concerns you have about the divorce process itself. In order to create the very best possible outcomes, some things you will want to consider include:

How to enjoy parenting time with your children
How you will maintain financial stability during and after the divorce
Financial goals for yourself and your children
Relationships with extended family members
Plans for the future, including retirement

Factual information regarding assets and liabilities, retirement plans, investment strategies, business arrangements, and work schedules will be gathered at the beginning of the process. Your professional team will help you and your spouse determine options for settlement.

What will be in your divorce settlement?

If you have children, you will work with your Collaborative coach as well as your attorneys to determine how your children can be cared for in a way that is best for them considering the parents’ needs and other obligations, including work schedules. Some issues that may be addressed are: where the children will attend school; how transportation to two households will work; participation in extracurricular activities; how holidays, birthdays and other special occasions will be celebrated; and how vacations and travel will be planned. If you are close to retirement or in retirement, you may have concerns about maintaining the lifestyle you have enjoyed. Your Collaborative team can help you to consider your options and determine how best to accomplish your goals. Distribution of assets and liabilities will be considered in tandem with sources of income to creatively fashion a financial plan that is tailored to your family’s specific needs. There may be a lot to consider, but fortunately, there is help and support readily available that can assist you with implementing these factors into your financial plans. Your decision to use the Collaborative divorce process can put you on the path to a bright future for you and your family.

Protecting your interests when navigating an amicable divorce

2022-06-15T19:14:45Z

Divorce can be a complicated process, and your decisions during this time are certain to affect you and your family’s future. When you and your spouse resolve to work together through the divorce process, there are steps you can take that will allow you to protect your interests and resolutions that will help to provide you with security. In an amicable divorce, both parties are committed to seeking a reasonable and beneficial outcome suitable for everyone involved. In order to make this possible, you and your partner need to be transparent regarding your finances and focus on solutions that will make the most sense in the long term. By committing to a goal of avoiding litigation and looking to what will be best in the future, you can reach an outcome that will give you the stability you need.

Dealing with conflict and seeking peace

If having an amicable divorce is your goal, there are specific ways you can deal with the conflict that is inherent in any divorce. You can each behave respectfully and seek a peaceful resolution. If you choose an attorney who is specially trained in non-litigation methods of conflict resolution, s/he can help you to understand and practice actions aimed at intentionally diffusing tension and anxiety and keeping the focus on reaching a reasonable settlement. Some things you and your spouse can do to help:

Avoid assuming the worst about the other party, and consider his/her needs and interests
Avoid speaking out of anger, and refrain from speaking negatively about the other person in public, on social media and in front of your children.
Stay focused on your goals and your priorities for the process, and know what your goals are when entering negotiations.
Focus on seeking terms that allow for the most fair and reasonable outcome to your divorce. This does not necessarily mean a 50-50 split on everything.
Find things to be thankful for and that you can look forward to while practicing empathy toward the other party.

These steps can help you achieve an outcome that is reasonable and sustainable long-term. With the right legal help, and the right motivations and goals, an amicable divorce is possible. Whether it is through direct negotiation, mediation or the Collaborative process, you can avoid the stressful and complex process of going to court in order to resolve your divorce.

Who is a good candidate for Collaborative divorce?

2022-05-24T19:36:28Z

Making plans for a divorce can feel overwhelming and stressful. Whether you asked for the divorce or not, the process may seem complex. Getting a divorce does not need to be the conflict-laden struggle you may see others experience. Collaborative divorce offers an option if you are willing to work together respectfully so that you and your spouse can move into the next chapter of your lives. Here are some characteristics of good candidates for Collaborative divorce that may help you to decide if the Collaborative Process might be suitable for your situation.

You want an outcome that benefits you both

Collaborative divorce offers a respectful and efficient option for people willing to work together to resolve the issues surrounding their divorce. Each of you will have an attorney with you at every meeting to support you in the negotiation process. Collaborative divorce means being willing to negotiate and work together to find a mutually beneficial outcome for the entire family.

You are willing to be transparent

The Collaborative Process involves sharing financial information voluntarily. This avoids unnecessary time and cost involved in struggles to gather information. A valid Marriage Settlement Agreement in Pennsylvania requires full and fair disclosure of all relevant financial information. When both parties cooperate in providing this information, the focus can be on finding the best way to maximize resources for each party and for the family as a whole.

You understand your child needs both parents

If you and your spouse are parents, you will still need to work together for the foreseeable future. Even after your children become adults, they will likely still look to both of you for advice and support. When you choose a Collaborative divorce, you begin a new way of working together to create a healthy environment for yourselves and your children. While Collaborative divorce is not ideal for everyone, it should still be considered as an option for people who want to end their marriage in a reasonable and thoughtful way.

Privacy and peace can come with mediation

2022-05-03T13:49:41Z

With your marriage in trouble, you may be ready to make the difficult decision to divorce. The last thing you may want is for personal matters to spill into the public eye, especially if those details could impact your family, business or career. Privacy is only one benefit of a mediated divorce. A skilled mediator can help you and your spouse to make difficult decisions in a way that is respectful of everyone’s interests. The process of mediation may result in less stress for you and a more positive outcome for your family. You will have many complex decisions to make during this time. The mediation process can be conducive to reaching those decisions with civility and cooperation.

Consider possible advantages

In a mediated divorce, you and your spouse will be determining how to share parenting responsibilities if you have children, how to distribute your assets and liabilities, and how to manage family expenses. Mediation offers the following benefits:

You and your spouse discuss and negotiate matters with the guidance of a neutral mediator.
You will weigh your options with the goal of reaching an acceptable and workable resolution that works for both you and your spouse.
Mediation allows you to avoid the contentious atmosphere of a courtroom.
You will have control over the private information about your divorce. The process of mediation is confidential and not a matter of court records.

Mediation may also help to minimize your attorney fees. While each of you may decide to have the guidance of your own attorney, in most cases, the bulk of the negotiating is done in meetings with only the two spouses and the mediator. For many couples, the mediation process can bring resolution much more quickly than would litigation. In addition, meetings are scheduled at your convenience, not according to the court docket. This is one of the reasons many busy professionals decide that the mediation process is the best choice for them. If you are contemplating divorce, it is important to weigh all of your options and decide what is the most effective process for your family. You may be feeling stressed by your current circumstances. The divorce process you choose may add to or help to alleviate that stress.

Should you opt for a Collaborative divorce?

2022-03-25T16:26:47Z

Even when two spouses are amicable and resolve to remain respectful during their divorce, it can be a challenging and emotional time. There is no such thing as an easy divorce, but there is help available to reduce unnecessary anxiety and make the process the best it can be. If you would like to avoid the complication and cost of litigated divorce, consider the benefits of the Collaborative Divorce Process. Collaborative Divorce is an option that allows you and your spouse to resolve your divorce in an organized and respectful manner. Your attorneys will work together to provide all of the information you need to make the best decisions for your family. Before you decide on whether to go to court or negotiate a settlement, you may want to speak to a Collaborative professional to learn more about how the Collaborative Divorce Process can be customized for your family's unique needs.

The Collaborative Divorce Process

In the collaborative divorce process, your collaborative professionals work together using their knowledge and experience to help you to negotiate and reach a comprehensive final agreement. The agreement can address all of the issues that are important to you, including co-parenting and child support, spousal support, and property distribution. Consider the following:

Each spouse will have their attorney present when negotiating the agreement.
The negotiations take place at a neutral location, at times that are convenient for you.
Each spouse will have an opportunity to discuss their goals and interest, ask questions and express concerns in a safe environment.
Each spouse may benefit from the services of professionals in addition to attorneys, such as financial neutrals or co-parenting specialists in order to reach the best possible outcome.
The Collaborative Divorce Process is generally quicker than litigation, and it provides each spouse control over the outcome.
Both spouses must commit to transparency and cooperation in order for the process to work well. Either spouse may decide at any point to terminate the Collaborative Process. If this occurs, the professionals no longer work with either spouse.

The Collaborative Divorce Process allows you to avoid the stress and expense of litigation while having your voice heard. The emotions that accompany divorce can be difficult. Collaborative professionals will support you throughout the process and allow you to focus on what is best for your long-term interests, the needs of your children and your future financial stability.