If you are considering divorce, or think that your spouse may be, there are three things you should do as soon as possible:
1. Consult with a divorce attorney. Consulting with an attorney regarding what might happen if you get divorced does not mean that you will get divorced. Don’t be afraid to get the information you need to make decisions regarding your marriage. I have had many clients over the years who came in to talk about the possibility of divorce, but ended up resolving the problems they were having, and staying married.
Having said that, if you or your spouse are thinking about divorce, it is important to understand the issues that will need to be resolved, and the different processes available to resolve those issues.
You can take control of the situation, at least from your perspective, by reaching out to the appropriate professionals who can give you guidance and information about what might lie ahead.
2. Consult with a financial planner. If you are considering divorce, you should think about how your family income could support two households. A financial planner can be very helpful in doing this. She or he can help you to gather important information regarding your assets and liabilities, consider your family’s current or potential income, and help you to explore how that income could be distributed to meet the needs of the entire family. Getting the facts about your financial situation is a good way to alleviate some of the anxiety you may be feeling when considering divorce.
3. Consult with a licensed therapist or counselor. Divorce involves everything that is most important to you – your family relationships, your home, your retirement, and your financial security. It is not surprising that even considering divorce can be emotionally overwhelming. Meeting with a licensed therapist can help you to manage the emotions that come with divorce, and in doing so, allow you to process information and make the best decisions possible.
While it may seem natural to turn to family members and friends to discuss problems in your marriage, those closest to you are themselves affect by what is going on. It can be more helpful to have someone to talk with who is not emotionally involved in the situation, someone who is a professional trained to help people in your situation.
Even if you think you are able to deal with things as they are now, establishing a relationship with a therapist before beginning the divorce process will give you someone to talk with if things become more difficult as time goes on.